Today I had my loyalty called into question by someone I hold dear to my heart. Man, it felt like someone reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. Not only did they call into question my loyalty, but my loyalty to my family. If you know nothing more about me know this, there is nothing I hold more dear than my family and I would move Heaven and Earth for them. We don’t get along all the time and we are by no means perfect but I will protect my family by any means necessary. My loyalty is something that I pride myself on and maybe I got so upset because my pride was wounded but I haven’t been that upset in a long time. I went off when my loyalty was called into question. My voice quickly turned to acid and I was giving my best “I will kill you if you say anything else” look, which is a look that I have perfect over the years and in fact has been known to cause tears. Side note, I’m a little proud of the look I have cultivated but I didn’t just write this to let people know not to try and mess with me. Back to loyalty, this is something that I treasure in all of my relationships and that I hold dear to my heart. I grew up with lots of family members in the military and the big thing that I was taught is that you look out for your own. For me that doesn’t mean just my own flesh and blood, this includes my other family. The family of people that I have around me who I choose and not necessarily who I was born into. These are my people that can make me laugh when I want to cry and make me cry from laughing. They have my back and I have theirs. For me, loyalty isn’t simply sticking with someone when times are tough and it is would be easier to cut bait and run. Loyalty is fighting with and for those around you, even when they are wrong. You stand up for them when they can’t stand up for themselves and you show them how incredible they are when they can’t see it. Loyalty is protecting those who I love from getting hurt, I would gladly fall on the sword if it meant someone I love doesn’t get hurt. I feel so much more pain when I see someone I love in pain versus when I am in pain. The best example and something that I am grateful for every day is my dog Jordy, she fits the description of loyalty to a T. Whenever someone in the family brings a new person home she is on alert. She wants to check them out and make sure that they are okay before letting her guard down, and this is a long process. If you don’t pass she will let you know and chances are you won’t be let back into the house again. She protects those she loves with a ferocity that is almost unmatched by anything that I have ever seen. Her loyalty is to those she loves before herself. I have watched her put herself in between the people she loves and protects and someone she views a threat. But once she has accepted you into her family and she trusts you, she never questions you again and shows you the same loyalty that she shows her flesh and blood. Jordy’s loyalty is similar to how I view my own and the kind of loyalty that I look for in all my relationships. If you don’t have loyalty in a relationship how can you expect to grow a relationship? If you can’t trust that the person who you are trusting will stand by you and fight with you, why are you trusting them at all? You are just asking to get hurt. It is so easy to be blind and to trust someone and assume that they are loyal just because you are. Friends guard your heart and make sure that the people you are trusting are going to be loyal to you no matter what. Now within the same vein, there is a thing as being too loyal. This comes when you are putting yourself at risk because you are falling on the sword to protect those that you love. This is something that I have done way too many times and let me tell you it is not fun. When someone I love is in trouble my thoughts aren’t about anything but protect them and making sure that they are okay. It was brought to my attention today that this is not always the best course of action, especially when it can hurt not only you but the person who you were trying to protect in the first place. Don’t let the love you have for someone blind you, keep a clear head. It is important to be loyal but you need have a clear mind and sometimes the best thing you can do is let them fall on the sword, but be there to help them pick up the pieces. Loyalty isn’t protecting someone at all costs, it is staying and helping someone when they need you. Loyalty is making sure that you support those around you and that you don’t take over and assume you have all the right answers because for the most part none of us have the right answers. If you got nothing out of this except this one thing let it be this, loyalty is essential for a relationship but you must give and receive loyalty and get loyalty confused with self-sacrifice. There is a difference between loyalty and trying to make something better for another person and hurting yourself in the process.
A Regular Girl