Rejection and Disappointment

Rejection one topic that everyone loves to talk about and something that is, even more, fun to experience. JK, rejection stinks no matter the form or fashion. Whether it is something that you think is going to happen or it is unexpected rejection sucks. It is a different feeling when you are rejected by someone you care about versus when you are rejected from something like a club or job. It is much more personal when you are rejected by a person. I think the worst kind of rejection that I have had is when you have a relationship with someone and you value the relationship but they don’t seem to value it as much as you do. Being in a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, that feels one sided makes you start to second guess yourself and your value. At least for me, it does. I start thinking well what is wrong with me that they don’t want to keep talking to me or what is so horribly wrong with me that they decided I wasn’t worth their time? It sucks having those thoughts in your head because they affect every relationship that you have. You start to look at other relationships around you and you build walls. You want to keep people at bay so that you don’t get hurt and you don’t have to feel that rejection. You build up more and more walls and keeping people always an arm’s length away. And then against your better judgment, you let someone in. At first, it is just one small thing and then before you know it they have torn all your walls down. Having no walls and facade in a relationship with someone is one of the best and most terrifying feelings in the world. You are trusting someone with something so precious, your heart, and begging them not to destroy it and break you. The hardest part is when they break it, but what’s worse than that is when they don’t realize that you gave them your heart and trust and they throw it away anyway like it was nothing. It is so hard when people don’t realize how hard it is trust people and be vulnerable and then takes advantage of it. When this happens it affects all of my relationships. It makes me never want to open up to another person again. I heard something today that really stuck with me, “if God shuts a door, stop banging on it. Whatever was behind it, wasn’t meant for you”. I don’t know about y’all but I have spent way too long banging on that door and crying for it to open. Whether it was something I wanted for a long time or a relationship I hope would work out. I run at that door and throw everything I can at it in hope that it will open up. The door never open, it has taken me a long time to realize that my plan is not the same as God’s and I have to trust in his if I want to be happy. This is such a bitter pill to swallow but it is necessary because I will never fully see the bigger picture because I am incredibly biased. It is impossible to reach perfection and get everything you want. But if you depend on God you might reach excellence. Life is never going to be easy and there will be bumps in the road by with God at your side you can weather whatever storm you are hit with, no matter how impossible it seems. Everyone has that one person who they want to value them and is too wrapped up in. That one relationship where you are giving more than the other person, that one person who you want to talk to but never seems to think of you in the same way. Every time you think you are done with them and the relationship they pull you back in with that perfect response or simply the fact that they responded. Some people will never truly understand what you bring to the table until they watch you in action at another table.

I hope this post brought some insight or help!

XO

A Regular Girl

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